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FAMILY LAW TIPS FOR MEN

 

Be a Gentleman

Family Courts Can Seem Biased Against Men

Keep Demands Reasonable and Fair

Pick Your Lawyer Carefully

Social Media Confessions

Don'ts

Divorce Court is Not a Contest

Pay Your Legal Fees by Credit Card

Family Law Tip # 1 (for Men)

Be a Gentleman - Avoid a Temporary Protective Order (TPO)

           If you can behave like a perfect gentlemen - polite, non-judgmental, non-vengeful, non-argumentative and non-interruptive you will be much more likely to negotiate with your “EX” and impress the court when you make your wishes known.

           Of course family law matters are highly emotional and it’s all too easy to engage in accusations and to bicker. If you can’t rise above this poor type of behavior, let your lawyer do the talking.

           If you argue at all with your “ex” you are inviting the “Dreaded TPO” (Temporary Protective Order). If you come across to the judge as impolite, hot headed, selfish, etc. you may as well keep your expectations low. Your behavior since the break up described to the court by your “ex” and your behavior in the courtroom will highly affect the Judge’s decisions.

Family Law Tip # 2 (for Men)

Family Courts Can Seem Biased Against Men

           Love’em and leave’em has been a male dominated act since the original one-celled animals began to evolve into sexual beings. Modern human society in all races and in all parts of the world is filled with examples of male humans following the familiar role of loving and leaving.

           Everybody knows this - including Family Court Judges, many of whom are women and some whom are divorced. So even though laws are written unbiased, interpreting them and applying them can seem biased. As if it weren’t bad enough that some men can give all men a bad reputation, many good men often “shoot themselves in the foot” by giving up their rights. Their faulty presumption in a family law dispute is that it will come out okay and that they will automatically be understood and treated fairly. Lack of proper action leads to poor results in both money and child matters. 

           Many times it takes great effort and much courtroom debate at hearings to insure men are treated fairly in Child Custody, Visitation and Support issues. Marilyn and her Staff enjoy these challenges and feel especially good after helping fathers and children restore relationships. They thinks fathers are extremely important to child development and know that fathers can be very creative and effective in sharing indoor and outdoor experiences with their children. Most people will agree that generally children are better off with a mom and a dad. In the modern era of a high percentage of split marriages and complicated post relationships, it is still important that each child continues to enjoy a relationship with his or her father. It is very rewarding to Marilyn and her Staff when their efforts and ability can create a better circumstance for children by helping their fathers.

           The presumption of the Court can often be that Mothers are fit and deserve custody of the children unless the Court can be convinced otherwise and that Fathers don’t care about their children unless they prove it in court.  A Man’s imputed income and ability to pay can also be too casually decided.

           So what can Man do?  Do everything right as possible. Hire Marilyn's Law Office before your wife does and follow your Attorney’s good advice.

Family Law Tip # 3 (for Men)

Keep demands reasonable and fair;

and try to negotiate before any hearing or trial

           It seems amazing what judges will allow if all parties agree. Judges are likely to allow whatever parties agree on even when the agreements are not fully supported by laws.

           In other words, if you do not alienate your “EX” and keep your demands reasonable, you are likely to get more of the things that are important to you as will your “EX.” This is because pretrial “give and take” negotiations may be possible but a Judge’s order will not weigh many of the intangibles. For example, a judge won’t like being forced into dividing dogs, cats, canaries and other personal property – work it out before court!

           Negotiating techniques outside of a marriage are not always a good idea in marriage, but if your marriage is over use them.

           While negotiating in business, in raising children or in a divorce when you are about to give up something that is yours, always try to get something in return. In an amicable divorce, try to negotiate all details possible without lawyers. In a bitter divorce, your lawyer is your best chance for negotiating before any hearing or trial. Don’t give away the farm.

           You probably know your “EX” or about to become “EX” better than most people. Use that knowledge to anticipate what she wants badly and look for trades that get you what you want.  For example, if her parents gave her and you a car that may have become community property, before you give it up make sure you have fair custody and visitation of your children.

           During negotiations, after you make an offer do not speak first. Usually the first one that speaks caves in and looses something. You may have to be silent a few minutes or even days but do not undermine your position by communicating until the other person says something. When that other person begins to talk, let her go without interrupting.

 

 

Family Law Tip # 4 (for Men)

Pick Your Lawyer Carefully

           In legal battles and in getting through legal mine fields, the lawyer or law office you select will likely be the

single most important decision you make. You can’t change history, the law, pick the Judge, or force courtroom decisions but your lawyer can give you good advice as to what to expect and what may be worth pursuing or not. She can also present your case in the best way and debate important issues to get the best results. As in most selection processes, its good to go with referrals, from instincts and what feels right. If you are not impressed after interviewing or getting an initial consultation from a Family Law Attorney, repeat your efforts with one or more others until you are comfortable. Hire a Certified Family Law Specialists (Marilyn York) not a Malcreant Attorney.

           Many lawyers who do Family Law do it as a fill-in to keep from starving and may not even like doing it.  Obviously you would be much better off with a lawyer who chooses to do Family Law exclusively because she likes it. Such Exclusive Family Law Attorneys (Marilyn York) would naturally be more up to date and experienced in Family Law Matters. If your child needed tonsils removed, wouldn't you select a surgeon that does several such operations a week, not several a year?

           A “dynamite” referral method for anything you need when you don’t know anyone personally is as follows: go to the yellow pages and find someone in the same industry that does not do the exact work you need and ask them for a referral. For example if you need a dentist, call offices of oral surgeons and ask for a referral. When you need a family lawyer, call two or three law offices that do not advertise family law and ask them for a referral. Chances are good that Marilyn’s name will come up or ask them what they know about Marilyn.

 

Family Law Tip # 5 (for Men)

Social Media Confessions

           Although it may be therapeutic to Publish your Thoughts and Feelings using Social Media or tell your friends and family, it can also be very detrimental to your case. Such secrets last a short time and will likely make it back to your "EX" and be used against you. Do yourself and your Attorney a favor by not sharing. The Attorney Client Privilege only exists with your Attorney.

 

Family Law Tip # 6 (for Men)

Don'ts

           Don't lie to your Attorney or in Court. Don't try to fake a drug test. Don't try to hide Marital Assets. Any such misbehavior will cause the Court to suspect everything you say and tend to believe everything bad your "EX" says about you. Don't underestimate your "EX" or opposing Attorney. Fight fair with facts and a good Attorney whose rapport with the Court can work in your favor.

 

Family Law Tip # 7 (for Men)

Divorce Court is Not a Contest

           Family law cases are not contests for Courts to pick a winner; in fact rarely is there a winner-take-all. The Goal of Marilyn’s Law Office in each case is to help the client get fair treatment through negotiations if possible and by court decisions if not. 

           It is important to understand that when a family law conflict includes children, “the best interest of the children” guides virtually all Courtroom decisions and also guides Marilyn and her Attorneys throughout such cases. 

           If your case involves children and your strongest concern is for them, you are a good parent and upon hiring Marilyn's Law Office you will have very powerful representation. Don't hire a Malcreant Attorney who would likely enjoy escalating the conflict into a grand contest for his own benefit and who may not care about the children.

 

Family Law Tip # 8 (for Men)

Pay Your Legal Fees by Credit Card

           In a divorce case it can be best to pay your legal fees by credit card and let them ride until your divorce is final. That credit card debt is more likely to be deemed marital debt and split 50/50 than if you pay your legal fees with cash or your personal money.