FAMILY LAW TIPS FOR MEN

Don’t move out!

Be a Gentleman

Family Courts Can Seem Biased Against Men

Family Law Tip # 1M (for Men)

Don’t move out!

           Men, don’t move out of the house even if you feel like it or are invited out. When the father moves out, the court views it that his pain, convenience and freedom are more important to him than his children are. If he moves out leaving the temporary custody of his children with his wife, it sets a dangerous precedent for the Court - to leave the apparent custody situation intact.

           In such decisions, Family Courts can support the Mother and her attorney in decisions concerning children to the detriment of the Father and the children. Unfortunately this is commonplace, especially when the Mother is forceful, demanding and is represented by an experienced hard-fighting attorney. The Court simply avoids changes unless there are compelling circumstances.

           Contrast the above with: The marriage or the living together arrangement (LTA) with common children breaks up; The man does not move out but immediately hires a lawyer, quickly gets a court hearing and negotiates temporary terms – visitation, custody, etc; The man or the woman moves out per the court order. This is powerful because it sends a clear message to the Court that the children and the father-child relationships are very important to the Father. If everyone is still under the same roof, the court must weigh the evidence and wrestle with decisions – probably ordering a compromise.

           A good compromise is said to be one that leaves both parties unhappy. A compromise is still better for Dad and the children than leaving Dad out completely.

Family Law Tip # 2M (for Men)

Be a Gentleman - Avoid a Temporary Protective Order (TPO)

           If you can behave like a perfect gentlemen - polite, non-judgmental, non-vengeful, non-argumentative and non-interruptive you will be much more likely to negotiate with your “EX” and impress the court when you make your wishes known.

           Of course family law matters are highly emotional and it’s all too easy to engage in accusations and to bicker. If you can’t rise above this poor type of behavior, let your lawyer do the talking.

           If you argue at all with your “ex” you are inviting the “Dreaded TPO” (Temporary Protective Order). If you come across to the judge as impolite, hot headed, selfish, etc. you may as well keep your expectations low. Your behavior since the break up described to the court by your “ex” and your behavior in the courtroom will highly affect the Judge’s decisions.

Family Courts Can Seem Biased Against Men

           Love’em and leave’em has been a male dominated act since the original one-celled animals began to evolve into sexual beings. Modern human society in all races and in all parts of the world is filled with examples of male humans following the familiar role of loving and leaving.

           Everybody knows this - including Family Court Judges, many of whom are women and some whom are divorced. So even though laws are written unbiased, interpreting them and applying them can seem biased. As if it weren’t bad enough that some men can give all men a bad reputation, many good men often “shoot themselves in the foot” by giving up their rights. Their faulty presumption in a family law dispute is that it will come out okay and that they will automatically be understood and treated fairly. Lack of proper action leads to poor results in both money and child matters. 

           Many times it takes great effort and much courtroom debate at hearings to insure men are treated fairly in Child Custody, Visitation and Support issues. Marilyn and her Staff enjoy these challenges and feel especially good after helping fathers and children restore relationships. They thinks fathers are extremely important to child development and know that fathers can be very creative and effective in sharing indoor and outdoor experiences with their children. Most people will agree that generally children are better off with a mom and a dad. In the modern era of a high percentage of split marriages and complicated post relationships, it is still important that each child continues to enjoy a relationship with his or her father. It is very rewarding to Marilyn and her Staff when their efforts and ability can create a better circumstance for children by helping their fathers.

           The presumption of the Court can often be that Mothers are fit and deserve custody of the children unless the Court can be convinced otherwise and that Fathers don’t care about their children unless they prove it in court.  A Man’s imputed income and ability to pay can also be too casually decided.

           So what can Man do?  Do everything right as possible. Hire Marilyn's Law Office before your wife does and follow your Attorney’s good advice.